I'm freaking sorry, okay?
by AlisonLilaSmith
Summary: April and Alex pairing. I got tired of there not being enough April/Alex stories so I worte my own. It's set during the episode 8x10. Rated M for a reason, also my first fanfiction. Don't flame, please!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N this is my first fantiction that I've ever published. Okay so it's set in the episode 8x10 only with my own twists to it.**

Alex searched the entire hospital, he didn't know why but for some reason it was incredibly important to say what he had to say.

"Listen April, I know it's about a year ago it happened, but this accident just sort of triggered my nicer side or whatever, so I'm sorry about not respecting you or whatever back in the on-call room. My family was really messed up, I had just gotten back from seeing them that day, not that it's an excuse. You were really nice to me and I was an asshole, so I'm sorry. Okay?" Alex practically shouted at April as she came out of the gallery to OR2.

She froze.

_Crap, she's going to freak out or scream at me..._

"Uhm, yeah, just forget it. It doesn't matter, I should've left it alone..." he tried to explain.

She turned around and he saw her eyes were red from crying and tears were still running down her cheeks. He was about to leave the entire scene when she came running towards him and hugged him.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked while awkwardly patting her back, he was not expecting this reaction from her after his apology. Looking around he realized that every nurse apparently had seen the entire scene and were now staring at the awkward embrace.

"" She cried while still sobbing and clinging desperately to him. He was starting to panic, what with the staring nurses and April crying like a maniac. Her sobs were getting louder by the second and she was starting to hyperventilate. He tried to calm her down by patting her back and shushing her but that seemed to make it worse.

When he tried to end the embrace she just hugged him tighter and somehow cried even more. At that point Alex got desperate and did one thing he knew worked with hysterical women. He grabbed her shoulders and forced her out at arm's length. He then yelled at the top of his lungs "SHUT UP APRIL".

This silenced her completely; tears were still running down her cheeks. The whole situation seemed so ridiculous and somehow familiar; he actually started smirking almost laughing until he saw Aprils devastated face. Somehow he felt his stomach drop and he wanted to do anything that he could to stop her from looking like that.

So he took her hand and got on the elevator with her. She was still crying but at least her breathing was normal and she wasn't dangerously close to fainting. They rode the elevator in complete silence, holding hands.

"Henry's dead" April said as they got out of the elevator in the basement. She looked at him with those big sad eyes that intimidated him. He didn't say anything, he knew this. He also knew that April had forced to overlook the surgery that Teddy was finishing with Christina, he had heard Jackson talk about how Teddy and Christina had talked about April in the OR while she was in the gallery. _Crap, that's where she coming from when I decided to find her and talk my heart out. Good move Alex, great timing _he realised. They found an empty hospital bed in one of the long corridors and they sat down. April let out a little sigh, and started crying again.

"It's just not fair, he's dead. He's really dead. She finally got over Owen and started dating and then she found Henry and fell in love. She fell in love. And now he's dead. It's not surprising, he had a chronic tumour condition, and that can go bad very easily. But he's really dead and she doesn't know. She just doing her job, saving a life and thinks that her husband is doing great. It's not fair" She said all this while tears were still coming down her cheeks. Alex handed her a water bottle and some tissues he had in his lab coat. She took a breath, dried her eyes and drank some water. He knew that she always reacted like this and that she just needed to get it of her chest. So he let her talk for approximately half an hour more. He didn't really pay attention to exactly what she said; it was one long monologue and he wasn't expected to answer.

He laid back on the bed, feeling the fatigue from one of the longest days in his life come over him. She lay down next to him, finally quiet. She had talked about everything, her family, her job as chief resident, and how Owen had made the decision not to tell his wife who she was operating on and not to tell Teddy that her husband was dead. Lying next to him, she began describing what Teddy and Christina had been talking about in the OR and how she felt about it. Alex was quiet all this time, feeling a guilty because he knew that he had said all the things Christina had said and worse. But she wasn't mad at Christina, Christina was in a very tough situation, April reasoned.

"And then you apologised to me, I never expected that, not after Jackson punched you that time at Owens housewarming".

Alex moved his head to look at April. She was staring straight up into the ceiling, her eyes red.

"I really meant it, I'm sorry" he mumbled. She closed her eyes and looked like she might cry again.

Desperately not wanting her to cry again he held her close to him in the bed. He hugged her tightly and felt her relaxing her face against his chest. She fell asleep very quickly and he sighed out of relief. He then fell asleep also.

April woke up with her face against someone's chest. She then remembered last night and felt her eyes well up again. But she couldn't cry anymore, it felt like her eyes had dried out. She tried to sit up, but realised that Alex had his arms around her and he was fast asleep. She didn't want to wake him so she lied there and thought about his apology. She was amazed that he had actually still remembered that incident in the on-call room. She remembered it very clearly, but the way Alex acted around her it seemed like he had completely forgotten. She thought about the way he had insulted her just a couple of weeks ago, yelling at her and making fun of her voice and the way she did her job. She suddenly felt claustrophobic and realised that Alex probably wasn't waking up anytime soon, she also realised that it must be late evening and that meant they had slept here all day.

"Alex wake up, we've slept her all day" She nudged him softly. Alex groaned and shifted a bit. She was even more locked in by his arms.

"Alex come on, let's get up" she nudged him harder this time.

"Alright, alright" he mumbled sitting up and yawning. She looked at him; she didn't really know whether or not he was going to talk about last night and what he said. She realised that she should actually say something about, the ball had sort of been left in her court.

"So, um" she started getting nervous because she knew her voice annoyed him, especially in the morning. "Let's get dressed and go home" She said even though that wasn't what she meant to say. They both had the next day off and she had her car at the hospital.

"Yeah, okay" he just said starting to walk towards the elevator, she followed him. Once they had changed she bought coffee for them both at the coffee cart.

"So, um" she started again and getting nervous again, but she pulled her together and said what she needed to say. "Thank you, for the apology last night. It meant a lot to me" she said while looking at her coffee.

She looked up at him and he looked at her with a surprised look and the he just smiled at her. A kind of sarcastic smile, but still the nicest smile she knew Alex was capable of.

"And you're totally forgiven, especially after what you did last night for me. Thank you for that also, I guess I should actually apologise for that" She said and laughed a little nervously

"Hey, don't worry about it, after all I've dealt with a lot of crazy women and you're probably the least crazy of them all, even if you talk like there's no tomorrow" He laughed and the realised that the comment about there being "no tomorrow" might spark a whole new round of tears but April just laughed and Alex, liking the sound of her laughter laughed with her, and before they knew it they were laughing so hard for no particular reason other than it was all a bit ridiculous. They finally pulled themselves together, both with tears in their eyes but thankfully this time from laughter.

"Is your car here? Because mine is at home, I rode in here with Jackson" April said, still smiling.

"Yeah, I'll give you a ride" Alex said.

The car ride home was uneventful, but once they got home they spotted Meredith and Derek in the living room with Zola.

"Is Zola back?" Alex yelled happily, he felt very relieved since he still felt responsible for that crisis Meredith had to go through almost losing Derek and her medical license and then losing Zola.

"Where have you to been?" Meredith said surprised.

Not wanting to discuss in great lengths what had happened, April just hugged Meredith and told her congratulations to her and Derek. Derek smiled while he was playing with Zola; she picked Zola up and tickled her. Alex hugged Meredith and congratulated both of them.

"Oh April, listen, we want your room for Zola's nursery, I hope that's okay. It's only temporary until we can move into the new house. So maybe you could share with Lexie?" Meredith said. April gave a fussy Zola to Derek which calmed her down immediately. She didn't really want to share with Lexie; they weren't really on the greatest terms anymore. After Lexie's and Jackson's breakup she had been fiercely protective of Jackson and very much on his side, mostly because they were the last Mercy Westers and therefore like brother and sister.

"Um, I don't know if Lexie would be on board with that actually" She said and she thought that she had found a very diplomatic way of saying that there was no way in hell she was sharing a room with Lexie.

"I'll crash with Jackson, that'll be fine" She continued knowing that she would be much more comfortable and relaxed sharing a bed with Jackson than Lexie.

"I don't know if that's a good idea, actually, Jackson's got ah, company" Derek explained while smirking. Alex laughed.

"What? Who?" April said feeling a bit left out, Jackson usually told her everything. Then she remembered that she had spent all morning and all day with Alex which was probably why she knew nothing about Jackson's "friend". She regretted her question and looked at Alex. He had a weird look on his face.

"We don't know he just said not to disturb him because he had company and then he went upstairs" Meredith said with a giggle while taking Zola from Derek. "But it's just for one night, we start moving out tomorrow pretty much and we want Zola to start getting use to sleeping alone" Derek said.

"Well, April can crash in my room. I'm going out" April just looked at him a little stunned, probably wondering why he would go out now. Alex knew this would confuse her a bit, but he needed to get out, he didn't want to hear about April wanting to sleep in Jacksons room next to freaking Jackson and he didn't want to see April getting jealous because Jackson had someone to screw and then he realised that he was freaking jealous of Aprils relationship with Jackson and he really didn't want to do that, so he was going to get out of here right now and go drink and pick up some girl to prove to himself that he didn't need freaking Kepner.

"Problem solved, great, I'll put Zola to bed" Derek said and he went upstairs, April went with them.

"Goodnight Derek" while she got her pyjamas from her old room where Zola's crib was now.

"Goodnight April, say goodnight to aunty April, Zola" Zola laughed and April smiled and waved at her. She went into Alex's room and changed into her pyjamas, she fell asleep almost immediately. It had been a very long day for her.

Meanwhile Meredith was looking at Alex and wondered why he would let April have his room and why he suddenly wanted to go out now.

"What happened with you and April today? You seem weird" Meredith asked

"Nothing freaking happened, she cried for two hours because of Teddy's dead husband" Alex said a bit harder than he had meant, he sighed "Look, I'm going out to Joe's right now, do you want to come or not?"

"Meredith, you should go with him and make sure he doesn't drive home drunk" Derek said, he had come back from tucking in an exhausted Zola. Meredith looked at him and surprisingly said "Actually I'm fairly tired, I'll stay here with Zola, could you go please?" Alex felt like they were acting like his parents but ignored it not making any comment. "Yeah sure, I'll just grab my wallet and my keys".

Derek left the living room and Alex said to Meredith "You guys have had Zola for what, seven hours, and already you're acting like overprotective parents to everyone" he laughed a bit sarcastically at this.

"Not everyone Alex, only the ones who act like children" Meredith smirked at him.

"Okay Karev let's go" Derek said. Alex rolled his eyes at Meredith but went with him.

It was well past 2 am before they got back, Derek had had lots of coffee to stay awake and Alex had had lots of beer to not stay very well awake or coherent. Derek dragged him inside and placed him on the couch. Alex seemed to object to this idea but he was not very good at explaining what he wanted. Alex staggered into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water, with a lot of assistance from Derek.

"Sit down, Alex, or you'll tip over or smash the glass" Derek warned Alex

"You're not my dad" Alex mumbled but he sat down anyway. Derek laughed.

"Well I hope you had fun, and I'll see you in the morning, by the way, you owe me for this so I'll be expecting your help with the move tomorrow" Derek laughed, knowing Karev would be in no state to be helping with mocing into a house. Derek went upstairs and joined his wife in bed.

Alex sat at the kitchen table a little longer before deciding to go to bed. He went up to his room forgetting completely about April being in his bed. He turned on the lights in his room and started to get undressed before April sat up staring at him.

"Crap, sorry, forgot you were here" Alex said, he was starting to sober up and realised that the night at Joe's had not helped in regards to what he felt anytime he saw April and her big eyes.

"Oh, um, did you want me to..." she started to get up to leave which made Alex feel guilty.

"No, no don't, I'll leave so..."

"That's not really fair I mean it is your room and..."

"Yeah but I let you crash..."

"It's fine; really, I'll sleep on the couch..."

"No listen, I'll sleep on the couch..."

They were both quiet for a little bit. Alex looked at her and couldn't really stop looking at her.

April felt nervous again and she didn't want it to stop. She bit her lip and moved closer to Alex. He was standing dead still looking at her and his breathing got heavier.

All of the sudden he grabbed her by the waist lifted her up bridal style and kissed her with all his might. She shifted and wrapped her legs around him and her arms around his neck. She deepened the kiss and opened her mouth a little bit. He got excited by her response and could feel his own body respond to her. He almost threw her on the bed and kissed her neck; she moaned and ran her hands through his hair. She pulled of her own top and he undid his pants. "Are you sure?" Alex asked her not wanting to end in a situation like that a year ago. She nodded and kissed him again, he took off his pants completely and started kissing his way down her breasts and stomach. He took of her pyjama bottom and her panties. She was moaning fairly loudly by now, and he could feel himself getting harder and harder. He massaged her breasts until her nipples were firm and she was wet. He found a condom in his bedside draw and put it on quickly. He looked at her again and asked "Are you sure?" She nodded and said "Just go slow, please" he kissed her and mumbled "Of course" She smiled at him a little shyly and he smiled right back kissing and nibbling her earlobe. She moaned. He couldn't wait any longer but he waited and fingered her, massaging her clit. She responded by moaning very loud now and he rubbed her slowly in a circular motion. She came already, very fast and before Alex had expected it. He paused and let her gather herself before he entered her very slowly. She moaned again very loudly and he started to thrust a little quicker. She felt herself climbing towards her next climax and changed position, so she was on top. This surprised him. She looked at him and started moving up and down. He moaned and thoroughly enjoyed April being in control. She quickened her pace, making him near his climax. He massaged her breasts and she was almost screaming when they both came.

She rolled of him and lay down next to him, both of them panting. He smiled at her and kissed her. April touched his face and smiled "Thank you" she simply said. He closed his eyes and smiled. He fell asleep very quickly, but April didn't feel sleepy at all. She realised that she hadn't even brushed her teeth, so she got up put on her panties and his t-shirt and headed towards the bathroom. It was dark and she didn't want to wake anyone so she walked very slowly. But on her way, going past Jackson's room the door opened and she walked into whoever was coming out of Jackson's room.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry..." She said and stopped because in front of her was Mark Sloan standing in nothing but his underwear. She went bright red, because of their attire.

"Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to walk into you, I'll go get dressed, wait why aren't you dressed?" April rambled on feeling increasingly embarrassed; Mark just stared at her wandering how he could get her to quiet down.

"Hang on, why are you coming out of Jackson's room? Hasn't he got company? Where is he?" April was very confused by the whole situation.

Mark just grabbed her hand and dragged her into the bathroom, locking the door. "What is going on here Dr. Sloan?" She thought that Dr. Sloan felt a little formal for the situation so she added "I mean Mark".

"I'm Jacksons "company", okay April?" Mark said, April finally putting two and two together; gasped. "Wait, what? Jackson is gay? You're gay?" the words flew out of her mouth, and she turned red again. "Yeah well, you have sex hair and one of Karevs t-shirts on son I'm guessing you're not a virgin anymore" Mark said back in a low and rushed tone. April was mortified and her face turned even redder.

"Okay then, that confirms that theory, congrats April and listen if you'll never tell anyone then I'll never tell anyone, deal?" April nodded and Mark left without another word. April brushed her teeth.

**A/N** **It's very long, I know. I considered doing chapters, but I just felt like uploading the entir thing. I've got some ideas for some further chapters, I'll upload them if I ever get around to it.**


	2. Authors Note

Hey everyone and sorry to the people expecting an update, it is coming.

I got a really nice review, my first on even, yay! Anyway the person said amongst other things that the intimate parts were rushed and he/she is right. I've read dozen of M-rated stories and never had a problem with it, but I guess writing the stories was a bit uncomfortable. I honestly have no idea how to write things like that, so I'm guessing I won't. Anyway I'll keep writing Alex/April stories, set in the world of Jackson/Mark and Merder/Zola. The rating will just change. So don't look for them here, they'll probably be rated T. This doesn't mean that there will be no more intimacy; I'll just find neat ways to work it in. So it might be mentioned or hinted at but not directly written.

Anyway, I love writing these stories, so there's another Alex/April one-shot coming. But long. I hate short one-shorts. Although this one was long, but they'll never be under 1500 words. Also I apologize for bad grammar or typos, even though I am a native speaker I'm still terrible at spelling and grammar.

Okay I'm finishing this probably very annoying authors note, thank you for reading my story.


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